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September 27, 2007
Heart Web
Yesterday was a full harvest moon. Even though temperatures are still rather high in this part of the gulf coast, as they usually are, the air is much dryer. Dust is gathering on my driveway and in the streets, along with a few fallen leaves.
I had to actually water my plants in the front and back yard, which I have rarely had to do all summer, as it has been much wetter than usual. It should be so easy to take care of outside plants, but the norm for me is to water every other mosquito infested morning, slapping away as I stand there.
As I was going through the somewhat meditative process of nourishing my plants, I spotted a spider web off to one side, which was struck with brilliant morning sunlight. I was so excited to see it this way... each strand glowing in white spun brilliance. I ran into my home to get my camera, feeling that if I spent another moment, I would miss this opportunity.
I took several shots and then gazed at it for a bit more before carrying on with my morning plans. Later in the day I remembered these pictures and quickly downloaded each to my computer. I glanced at three of them, and then I was most amused to see something I hadn’t noticed before. The web appeared to be in the shape of a heart!
Perhaps spider webs come in all shapes, but I thought they are generally round in nature. I remembered the full moon and imagined that even this little crab spider feels something different… a pull of emotion perhaps. Or maybe more a guided push from some unseen source.
Early this morning , I proceeded out the front door for my daily walk/run, and decided to give this little spider another glance.
To my amazement, the web was built completely anew! And of course this time, it is nearly a perfect round shape.
The little guy was still in the process of strengthening it as he grabbed silken shapes from under his belly and placed them just so in flawless increments on a fine thread.
Only God knows how a spider can measure with such accuracy, but I have seen this small spider build a heart web. It brought to mind the idea of how we each weave our own human hearts.
It is the small miracles that touch us so profoundly.
Posted by kay at 10:11 PM | Comments (0)
September 25, 2007
Love
In all honesty, in a truth that exists even when we don’t believe it
This infinite starlit universe of purple blue realms
Bleeding with gold bursts from our favorite bright sun
The center that planets surround like a warm campfire
Heavenly bodies spinning in concentric gravity circles
In a timeless space that we need to so desperately measure
It is love… only love
In a channeled heartbeat, the mystery gracefully unfolds
Einstein’s perfect formulas speaking of unseen places
Dimensions layered like a stack of hidden recycled paper
All at once, in the same moment, past and future
Here and now reality formed in the miracle of oneness
Sending out the ever present message, in our hearts most profound
It is love… only love
Wondrous patient earth, the Mother who carries us home
In our burdens, our grief stricken wars, our disease ridden cities
Our foul smelling greed that spreads and rots
Living creatures lost forever in thoughtless waste
Cast aside like funeral ashes in a strong wind
The frightening face of cruelest judgment
Distorted with pain in the deepest part of the human spirit
Still never void of the most precious elemental gift
It is love… only love
Breathless moments, the smiling face of a perfect stranger
A baby’s laughter falling like flower petals to the ground
Remote white clouds that take on familiar shapes
Drifting in a blue pristine sky
Birds singing like distant soft bells in sweet harmonious chorus
The artist’s passionate creation
A mother’s joy, a father’s validation
Tears of happiness in a warm room
A friend who will listen, the lover’s embrace, a dog’s wagging tail
Rhythms pulsing in our ears, in our words and in our hearts
The familiar voice that speaks to us in every moment
It is love… only love
Posted by kay at 11:20 PM | Comments (0)
September 14, 2007
Earth Cycles
Four times you spin yourself anew
Giving to all living things the chance to dream
As cold winter winds penetrate through dark heavy skies
Crystals form where water loses its’ fluid memory
Skeletal trees reach up in their perfect stillness
The color green seeming to disappear altogether
Replaced with a white cover that gives eerie silence to the night
At first, something seems to rise from an unknown place
An energy like no other, generating sexual motion in still life
It is the sound of living things growing, buzzing
A humming noise that fills us all with such hope
While nesting birds seem to magically appear
Knowing the exact birdsong to sing
We rise up in our new skin, our rejuvenated selves
Like all the radiant buds over our heads
And the rain soaked shoots underneath our feet
The earth gives way to the spring of new life forming
The hot summer sun reaches us in all its’ vibrant splendor
Creating warm comfort that permeates through and through
Animals bearing their young with the promise of constant survival
Lush green plants growing to their fullest splendid measure
Bringing forth all flowers and sweet fruit on this yearly journey
Giving the ultimate abundance of natural occurring life
Exuberant sounds soften, as if muffled in a brown paper bag
Green leaves begin to dry in the coolness of an Autumn night
Altering their pungent emeralds and sage hues
Conforming to glowing golds, burnt oranges and earthen reds
Falling to the damp, sleepy ground in symbolic patterns
Waiting for the wind to find their muted destiny
A time for retrospect, for crawling into the cave of protection
In preparation to be so still, as if to hold a long breath
For soon the winter will come once more
Posted by kay at 04:26 AM | Comments (0)
September 05, 2007
Saving a Bird
In some sort of haze, I remember driving along this normally very busy road… but this was a Sunday morning. Traffic was low, and it was still slightly cooler outside for the kind of heat we are used to having in summer.
A white car in the outside lane veered way out into my lane -very fast, as if a precious thing were in its’ path. The car was far enough ahead of me that it didn’t affect my ability to get out of the way. As I passed the spot the car had avoided, there was a dark, grey bird that appeared to be almost sitting, looking puffy and stunned. I couldn’t see if it was some sort of baby bird unable to fly, or perhaps an adult who might have just been hit before this car avoided it. I also could not see what kind of bird it was, as I was still driving and looking into my rear view mirror to get any of this.
As I pulled up to the light, which was well away from the bird incident, the white car was in the turn lane next to me, but still slightly ahead. As I looked to see the driver, I could see it was a woman with a baby in the back seat.
She was smiling and mouthing to me that she was sorry, and I said in my animated jesters back to her, that it was OK. I then said, “It was a bird!” She nodded, and continued to look back at me with her humble, warm smile. This is when it dawned on me what culture she looked to be from… Native American, I am sure, and probably of Mexican decent, judging from the area of town we were in. This is also the part of town I chose to live in, partly because of this cultural influence, but mainly because the neighborhood has large old trees and affordable homes that were built in the 1950’s.
I felt so wonderful after realizing that this woman cared enough about the bird to avoid hitting it. How many people would do such a thing? How many would apologize to anyone driving around them, who could have been hit?
As I was assimilating all that I experienced, a large truck pulled out to the right of me, nearly plowing into my side, forcing me to veer way out to the left to avoid it.
I was a little shook up as I drove further, and grasped the steering wheel reminding myself to pay attention… people seemed a bit risky today.
My thought process was side tracked for a moment, and then something came into my head just like that large truck that was about to hit me.
With utmost care, a message had just been given to me in all the glorious synchronicity that the universe could ever possibly put together. I had recently been questioning what I have been doing in my work – my paintings. There are various reasons, as I often feel left out in the cold when it comes to what others think of the subject matter.
Does anyone ever see what I am trying to communicate? Does anyone care about these People and their message (which I believe is for all of us), or for that matter, do they care enough to buy one and take it home? Some do, but often the process seems like trying to run in deep mud.
Here was this woman, a certain relative of these very People I paint, risking herself, her baby and whatever else could have been close to her at that moment… to avoid a small bird in the road. Not only did she avoid the bird, she saw it as her duty to let me know she was sorry for putting me at risk.
Any of us are capable of a kind act, and certainly my faith for the human race was lifted that day. But I would be fooling myself if I said that painting any culture would be appropriate to bring these messages forth… at least, for me.
I live in Texas, where I read they recently found the bones of a woman that go back nearly 45 thousand years ago. She is probably a distant relative to what we call ‘Indians’ from these lands of the Americas.
I thought I chose these indigenous people as my subject matter, but perhaps it’s more likely that they chose me. Oh, I don’t mean their modern sisters and brothers, who probably cannot help but look at me like I am an outsider. I am referring to the ancient ones… the strong voices from the past. After all, I am in an area where many have lived and died for thousands of years, telling me there is much spirit roaming this land.
Tears welled up in my eyes, as I was reminded of why I paint these beautiful People and their valuable truth… a truth that belongs to all of us, if we only look.
Validation is sweet, even if it comes slow and often seems hidden from view.
How my heart loves to be reminded of its’ passion.
I am so humbly grateful for this much needed guidance, wherever it comes from.
Posted by kay at 02:38 AM | Comments (0)
September 02, 2007
An Introspective
It has been a good two months since my solo art exhibit opened.
At first I was just exhausted from all the preparation, and felt completely justified in choosing not to paint for a while. My studio began to gather dust, and it was not the good kind, which accumulates from all the woodcutting I do for each piece I create. No, this dust is the kind that slowly creeps into a room that obviously is lacking in activity.
There were countless reasons for doing other things… visiting my friends for lunch, working at the gallery, watching TV, spending time with my partner, spending time with my sons, going grocery shopping, going shopping anywhere, walking the dogs, playing with the dogs, taking a shower, going to yoga class, answering emails, surfing on the net, cleaning the house (this has its’ own set of excuses), doing laundry, organizing something, calling a friend, calling my mother, calling my sons, crying, laughing, eating, sleeping, watching more TV and of course, writing something. Anyway, this list can go on eternally, I am sure.
It is funny how we block ourselves in one way or another, in order to fulfill something else in our lives. It may not be so obvious what that something else is, but it will happen when it needs to happen, regardless of our level of awareness.
Even when I have obligations, I lately find myself slipping on my response time to follow through with these important issues.
I am in the middle of some sort of sluggish cycle, where I apparently seem to want to shut down temporarily to re-establish my energy and my reason. Some of this is an introspective that human beings need at various moments of their lives, and artists seem especially prone to this. This kind of time is what allows us to produce a new outlet for our creative venue. It does give reason to our sense of purpose and our need to communicate it with others… to bring it out into the world. Like a female bear who sleeps deep inside a cave through the winter, she eventually emerges with one or two healthy cubs. She processed new life while she laid motionless and in a symbolic introspect.
I know that I have many things approaching as the year progresses to its’ end. A diversion has developed which will certainly take me out of my usual routine for a few months, and this is part of my reason for feeling so out of the flow. However, I realize that everything happens for a reason, and events in my life are no exception to this rule. The difference for me now is that I don’t fight the mood so much anymore.
If I feel my body telling me something, I try to listen with greater care, instead of moving away swiftly to somehow ignore the message. This goes without question for my spirit as well, as I have become aware of its’ primal connection with a much higher and very loving source. I am more trusting of these signals and the intuitive inner voice.
I will paint soon enough, and the continuous flow will just be refreshed and invigorated. Until then, I will take each moment as it comes, and know that I am growing anew all along the way.
Posted by kay at 10:11 PM | Comments (0)