May 30, 2006
Another Found Saint
I have a cherished collection of saints. Some are really not saints, at least not officially. Just some different versions of women and men in some sort of pose that caught my attention, enough for me to bring them home and carefully place them just so on a shelf.
I invision all of them comparing notes when I leave the room, perhaps just giving each other a little of their own personal stories. Not so much of why they were made, but who they lived with previously, and how was life in that environment.
Or, maybe they are just hoping I will finally clean the dust from all around where they stand.
Today, I was in a favorite resale shop when I noticed him. He was made long enough ago.... probably in the 40’s or 50’s. I picked him up a few times, only to leave him there and walk around the shop, trying to forget him, only to find that he still called to me.
I believe he is St. Joseph. I don’t pretend to know my saints, as I am not Catholic, or for that matter, part of any organized religion. I think he was the saint that protected children. I remember that brand of aspirin, or the children’s hospital I seem to recall in my home town, with his same name.
He carries a small child, who seems to be about 2 years of age and is looking as if he is asleep in the secure arms of this robed, noble being. There is also a small cross that is held in the tiny hand of this little one.
In the resale shop, there was a label on him that said he was made of chalk. I have never heard of this sort of thing. He looks like a strong, solid plaster to me, with faded ceramic fired colors from all the years he has existed. There are also a few flowers tucked in his right arm. His delicate feet are bare and show partially from under the flowing robes.
What struck me immediately, was how beaten this statue was. I knew it had been done on purpose. I turned him around to see gauges on his back as well as in his gentle face and hands. His head had been broken off, but someone saw the need to glue it back on. They even tried to paint a flesh color where the break occurred, probably showing so much of the white chalk.
Did someone anguish over a prayer that didn’t seem to be answered? Perhaps a sick child who succumbed to an illness? Some sad mother or father feeling cheated by God? How we suffer these moments. How very hard it is to loose someone we love so much. This small, well made saint, took the beating from one who had no other way to express what was felt. He did not complain. He simply boar the wounds of the living.
Perhaps I am not even close to knowing what really happened, but I knew he needed a home and some tenderness, even still.
Posted by kay at 10:25 PM | Comments (0)
May 27, 2006
The Sounds of My Neighborhood
I walk in my neighborhood every morning, almost without exception. I spend the time taking in the multitude of events happening all around me.
The sounds are of the most influencing, especially with the many birds creating their sweet harmonious songs. There are some other sounds they make that are not meant to be sweet. Warning sounds, alarming tones... quite loud and definitely serving their purpose. Mostly it is the soft cooing of the doves, or the melody of other bird’s music that the Mocking Bird sings with seeming ease, occasionally throwing in the screech of some hawk.
If I were to choose the sound that penetrates with a terrible burden upon one’s ears, it would be the lawn blower. Like some cyclone monster held in some hard working, lawnman’s hands, it consumes all else within a good city block.
I wonder about the man who operates this creature. How are his ears? Does he not hear his son or daughter call to him when he arrives home? As he probably does this job for long days, weeks and even months, how can he possibly feel good at the end of it all?
We had a neighbor who has since moved, that was excessive about having his lawn cut. It seemed it was twice a week, but we were probably just so ravaged by the lawn blower that often interrupted our valuable sleep on so many early mornings, we lost track.
Wind chimes are something that always take me to some faraway place. They seem magical in their involuntary melodies. Perhaps not so involuntary. I
think it is the reminder I receive every time I hear these ethereal tunes, knowing the winds are always changing. This is comforting to me. Maybe it is about the breathing of our Mother, the Earth. A gentle breeze telling us that she is so alive.... that we are so alive.
Of course, there are chattering squirrels, barking dogs, school buses, garbage trucks, children walking to school, their parent’s cars rushing through the streets to work, the nearby freeway on days when the wind decides to come in our direction, and the many other busy sounds coming and going. I usually drown out most of this, as I keep a pace and find myself soaking in the soothing sounds and occasional tranquil breezes that so replenish my hungry spirit.
I love these walks.
Posted by kay at 09:25 AM | Comments (0)
May 20, 2006
Guidance & Art
Sometimes I think we are driven to do something without really knowing why. There are simple moments... a craving for something sweet perhaps, or a definite need to breathe fresh air.
Our bodies guide us, but we don’t always listen.
People often ask me why I do these figures in my art. I give them all the reasons that come intellectually and passionately, but often, I can’t really put the real defined moment on it until I have finished the piece.
There seems to be an invisible hand at play. A guide, or perhaps a multitude of spirits whispering into my heart. My part is the technique, the experience of connecting my hand to this inner explanation.
I try to convince myself to practice ... to fine tune the approach. I see myself reaching out to bring these visual messages to all who will look, knowing still, that this will not change the reasons behind them.
It’s really a natural process. Not one you learn in some school, or even from a book. These are useful tools that may allow us a better look and feel for what it is we are pursuing. I am putting words to this process, continuing with a better sense of why I do these people and their world around them.
I am so grateful to have this guidance. It is easy to love and trust the silence of their words.
I will see where this takes me.
Posted by kay at 04:40 PM | Comments (0)
May 14, 2006
Baby Blue Jay Follow Up
This morning, my son and I were looking out into the backyard and had the great pleasure of seeing the 4 fledgling Blue Jays that were nesting in the front yard until a little over a week ago.
Three of them were perched on the birdbath, while the fourth was up on a branch not too far above. One of the parents was on the feeder and the other was flying back and forth from one tree to another.
We observed the way the young ones flew... kind of slow on the approach, but steady and able. Their shorter tails and smaller bodies were looking more like the teen-age version of their adult parents... really no more baby faces here. Their beaks were light in color and they didn’t have that pronounced tuft on their heads, but the velvet blues were coming in well.
One of the parents landed on the birdbath with the three youngsters, and all immediately opened their mouths. It did look as if one of them got a quick snack for his efforts. The parents stayed close and seemed to be showing them important moves. They were demonstrating some very caring parenting.
We smiled in amazement, knowing that this family of birds has given us the opportunity to experience Nature at her finest. Without really saying it, I think we both felt like children in our wonderment. I am so grateful to know they are here.
Posted by kay at 11:08 PM | Comments (0)
Dream for Happy Mothers
The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~ Rajneesh
I felt compelled to put this quote here, today. Even though I feel that picking one day to honor something so key to our very existence is a bit short of understanding.
I suppose, like so many ‘holidays’, Mother’s Day has become another commercial boost to the American Economy. If this country truly thought about honoring mothers, we’d see the real concerns being addressed.
How many mothers, who may be gong it alone or not, sacrifice their children’s health and well being because of lack of funds? The numbers are probably way too high, since our income levels are way below our cost of living.... forget medical insurance.
Along with this sad fact, the mother probably works full time and has little time to devote to ‘being there’ for her children. The young children are often left alone, which is another part of her guilt and worries.
Without even looking up the real numbers, it is likely staggering how many single women raise children.
Our government has put nearly all of our tax money into a ludicrous, debilitating war, and if you only look at just one part of this horrifying occupation of a country who’s resources just tempted us way too much to seemingly care, mothers and their children are the very last concern. For these women who may have the heart wrenching experience of watching their child die before them because of a bomb or crossfire.... I am sure this has more residual effect on all of us than we allow ourselves to know.
Why do so many people in our society take antidepressants? Anti-anxiety pills?
These are the number one drugs being sold in pharmacies, along with something to make an erection last longer. If this isn’t a true testament for escapism, then certainly we can look at our credit card spending to get another perspective on this sad issue.
I wanted to write about the miracles of being a mother. I am blessed to have experienced this, and I continue to have the fulfillment of these loving relationships.
I was certain that I was the first person to experience the elation that I felt, when my first son was born. I didn’t know such a love could be, and when my second son came to me, I was again reminded of this miracle.
I have a dream... a prayer. I send it to all the mothers on our Mother, the Earth.
Perhaps if we all would send this out from our hearts, this would truly honor the mothers of the Earth. It is for Peace & Love.
Then, our mother’s days would be happy, indeed.
Posted by kay at 08:05 AM | Comments (0)
May 12, 2006
A Little Gardening
Our weather has taken one of those rare turns and blessed us with cooler,dryer, and fresher air. Much of the surrounding city received some rain yesterday, but my neighborhood did not. Just some threatening bursts of lightening and a distant rumbling in the clouds. It was beyond muggy... the kind of dampness that almost feels wetter than rain.
It was a wonderful moment to be able to put my hands in dirt once again. I pushed the shovel just a few inches deep so that I could lift the sod of grass and place it somewhere else in my yard. With a few bags of hummus and top soil, I made the shape more prominent around the base of the pecan tree that stands so straight in front of my house.
I almost forgot how nourishing the earth feels on my hands. Perhaps that’s really what it is... my connecting with our Mother Earth. I felt her therapy working into my body, as I tried to beautify this small patch upon her surface. She reminded me of how her body works. The soil was soft and pliable. I knew this spot had been worked before. It probably had flowers and Monkey Grass all around. Someone put rich dirt here, and it has had time to gain new life as the Earth Worms moved through, tunneling and feeding in the same motion.
I planted some small, orchid-looking flowers along with a grassy green ground cover. Some cypress mulch was the final layer, to provide a skin of protection that holds moisture just a bit longer.
How pleasing it was to finally water the entire bed. I could almost hear the plants drinking, but mostly I think it was the Earth absorbing the life giving water.
Now I feel more grounded. Oh, and it’s a full moon.
Posted by kay at 08:08 AM | Comments (0)
May 10, 2006
Smooth Stones
I was thinking about how alluring stones are to me. I especially love the smooth river stones. I always pick one up if I see it, and I have to hold myself back when I see a large group of them being used in some sort of landscaping. However, if one gets knocked off the pile and has somehow managed to roll away from the others, I see my chance... as if it’s OK this way. I always make the decision based on the individual circumstance.... and occasionally, I find it justifiable to take one.
Today I found a cornucopia of stones.... in a spiritual healing store across town. I had another purpose for going to this place. I found a book for a friend who will be celebrating her birthday soon.
I lost track of time as I gazed at the shapes and colors, often feeling their smoothness, which is always a pleasant sensation for me. They all have a story... some sort of ability to awaken, renew, restore or heal something within us. There was indeed some sort of printed material placed near each container of stones to describe the energies held within them.
I walked away with a $3 half sand, half brown colored stone the shape of a perfect and very small egg. This is called a Shiva Lingam. It seems these stones are much revered as their shape represents male energy (knowledge) and the markings represent female energy (wisdom). I was pretty sure that I could use more of both these attributes. Mainly, I am happy to hold it in my hand for a little while, just gazing at it and smiling. It is so reassuring.
Posted by kay at 10:58 PM | Comments (0)
May 09, 2006
2006 Spring Fleas
This spring has brought with it something I nor my dogs were counting on.... fleas.
I know they are always prevalent in this climate, but this year seems to have a new set of rules.
I have always hated using some of the toxic chemicals on the back of my dog’s necks, so a couple of years ago I discovered a rather nice smelling and totally safe herbal dip. This was quite effective, that is, until this dryer winter and spring happened.
I haven’t researched what is really going on... I just am aware of all the trouble I have already gone through to be rid of these little nasty bugs. I suppose it can be argued that they have a purpose. I think all living creatures do.
My dogs are having some sort of chewing, biting and scratching contest. The female has developed patches that I am sure are due to these little traveling monsters that torture her into this frenzy, leaveing her panting and raw.
I bathe them once a week which certainly makes them feel better afterward, but during the event they are certain I am evil. The fleas go down the stream of warm water in the bottom of the tub, only to be replaced by eager new passengers waiting outside.... or maybe inside.... not a good thing.
I admit, I am ready to submit to the toxic substances once more.
What a way to start my dog blog.
Posted by kay at 11:37 AM | Comments (0)
May 08, 2006
Dream of the Red Tailed Hawk
This is a short part of a bigger dream. I seem to do this often, just remembering a small but instrumental piece.
I was walking through a front door to the outside. I guess this felt like someone's home. As I stepped around a bush, there was this giant Red Tailed Hawk. He seemed about 4 feet high, and was clearly marked on his chest with a soft brown and white pattern. He was standing on the ground, and when I looked into his eyes, as I was alittle startled at his being there, he turned to take off in flight.
I love to dream of such a creature, and feel certain that I have a guiding message here. I knew I had been contacted and this made me smile.
Posted by kay at 03:33 PM | Comments (0)
May 06, 2006
Green Birdhouse
I built 6 birdhouses this early spring. A strong urge came over me to do this. Partly my love for working with wood and mostly my new appreciation for birds.
I guess I am an amature bird watcher at best. I walk through my neighborhood every morning for about an hour and this is where I have learned how facinating these flying creatures really are.
Most species I see are Doves, Grackles, House Sparrows and Mockingbirds. None are any less appreciated for being so common.
The Mockingbirds are a true blessing in songs. They have a voice that can reach far with such clearity in tone. They have all of the other's songs... like a report of what lives in our area.
My most amazing experience has been with the Hawks that have circled above in my neighborhood skies. I am certain now that they were migratory. I still cannot say what kind they were, since they were mostly black and dark brown. No white anywhere. They, the male and female appeared together often, and there were many occasions when they flew directly above me... just yards away.
One of the last times I saw them, one of them was making a weird clucking noise... as if to get my attention. They were very close and right above me. I watched in amazment and felt a true connection to these noble creatures. I feel now almost like it was some sort of spiritual dream. What were they, really?
I have not seen them for at least a month... probably longer. I miss them, but I know they will return.
Posted by kay at 08:47 PM | Comments (1)
Baby Blue Jays
I was so amazed when I first noticed the nest... in my small magnolia tree in the front yard. There it was, about 8 feet above ground, with a clearly marked tail hanging over the edge... a Blue Jay!
I frequently circled the tree...maybe watering the other plants to not alarm her. She seemed glued to that spot. So still and patient.
One day I told a friend I had a nest and we both walked into the direction of the tree, and there in front of us was the entire family... babies actively chirping as a caring parent fulfilled it's promise, happily feeding their eager mouths.
I was nearly floating with joy. I thought there were only three, until just days ago when I clearly saw four heads standing in and around the nest.
The drama occured at dusk... a very loud screeching near my front door. I stepped out to see cats scattered around my front yard... and baby Blue Jays hopping about in a frenzy. Their parents were even more frantic, calling loudly as they often do at the cats or other intruders. My kind neighbor came over to see what this was all about, and after some patient efforts to lift these young flyers into branches, things became quiet.
The next morning, all were gone. No signs of babies or the parents... only the empty nest.
I thought about this for a while. How they didn't hesitate to try flying. When it was time, that was all they needed. Perhaps there was fear, but something stronger pulled them to do this act.
I believe that they are probably near by in the taller trees, now starting a new journey in their young lives.
There is so much to be learned from observing this event. I feel honored to have had the opportunity to do so.
Posted by kay at 08:20 PM | Comments (2)